what are these false starts. every monday. it’s like fireworks. and i think i can fix this broken down thing. i could rebuild this engine. and then i realize i’m not a mechanic. that swell of pride were sparks in the sky. and i turned around before i could watch them fade.  we’re not going to make it after all..

but then it’s monday again. and it’s a magic trick. and now you see him and now you don’t. and i’m signed up. i totally believe. but i forgot about the trap door. i forgot about the smoke and mirrors. and i don’t have the skill or the slight of hand. I can barely fool myself..

but hey look it’s monday. and it keeps repeating until it’s a year. 2 years. 10 years. and we’ll play this game until you’re lying there. on the floor of you apartment. pain in your chest. because i could never find that follow through.