Author Archives: teapotsonfire

how to build a tomb

I know how to build a tomb. First you keep all of her stuff. You keep it all in her room the same way for years. Then you start to get rid of it all. But you still hoard pieces of it in the corners of your room. Then you read all of her writings. […]

That first time.

The first time someone said it in my presence was at a friend’s birthday party. The first time. You always remember the first time. You always remember every time. Nigger. I had gone 30 years without ever hearing someone white say it in my real life. I was lucky right? To have gone so long? […]

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Please Crush Me.

Martin Luther King Jr always represented peace for me when I was little. Someone who could calm the heaviness in my heart with his words. I’ve always been an extremely emotional person. Pulling in the anger, sadness, or joy around me. Seeing images and hearing stories of civil rights and slavery were so hard on […]

not even close

I can’t let it go. Just fucking let it go. But you were the closest I ever came. I can’t even get a word in these days. But it seemed so easy back then with you. Staring at your red walls. Wait, that was someone else. Then who is it then? It’s all of them. […]

the day you died.

I’m not really sure what happened the day you died. I don’t know where I was or what I was doing. I didn’t find out until months later. I was working, I had made a joke about when you don’t see someone for awhile you think they died. Then you popped into my head. I […]

All My Stories Live In The Sky

“Would you do it all over again?” I ask. But I don’t ask. I’m always doing this, saying things I never say. It’s always some question, some statement, that would make a difference. But I keep it in my mind. I can’t push it to my lips. I hold it back. I say it over […]

What happened?

I miss your novel. What will become of that post apocalyptic world? Maybe you never finished. Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe in my head you’re a much better person than you really are. Successful, accomplished. You should be grateful, for the fantasy life I’ve been giving you. It all doesn’t matter that much. I […]

Oh, Come On Now…

“Oh come on now..” That’s what the checker said to me as I was trying to buy groceries this morning after he asked how I was doing and I replied, “Not very good.” “Oh come on now.” But then I looked at his face, a white man in his 50’s maybe 60’s, and I realized this […]

love will never be lost on me.

I’ve been thinking about kindess lately. A coworker was telling me about how she worked at a drive-thru and someone decided to pay for the person behind them. Then that person so moved by the gesture decided to pay for the person behind them too. It kept going. People just kept paying for each other. […]

You’re not 41, you’re 18.

You were always the keeper of everything. I was such a destroyer. I break everything. I don’t mean that in such a depressing way. Though it really is when you think about it. I never knew what my problem was, I still don’t. I was always leaving things on the floor and accidentally stepping on […]