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it’s so cold, like the cold if you were dead.

I remember this one day you let me hang out in your room when I was home alone. I watched episodes of the new Twilight Zone in your bed  and stared at all your stuff. Everything was so amazing and delicate to me just because it was yours. You had lyrics to The Cure’s “Plainsong” […]

the crack-up…

I shared a moment with a woman the other day. She reminded me of you Cynthia. She complimented me on my tote bag of “The Great Gatsby” and she got a dreamy look on her face when she said, “F. Scott Fitzgerald, he’s just…” and I almost felt like she was transported back to her […]

cynthia – chapter one

I want to say I don’t remember how we met. Like you just somehow appeared out of the shadows. Maybe the way things happen in real life are just as interesting. I do remember that day. The way you came in, slinging your life in front of me. “I don’t have my ID with me […]

another chapter.

I keep thinking I’ll see you. That you’ll show up like you usually do. You’ll pop out from around the corner with a look on your face like you’re so happy to see me. I want to tell you how I got robbed. I’ll make a joke about it like I have been doing. Maybe […]

she makes me want to write a million things…

“Remember everything,” she said. “Everything anyone says to you, remember it.” She had no idea I was already doing this, the catalogs I had of her words in my mind. “I can remember being young and staring at my toes. All I could think was, ‘I just want to remember what my toes look like […]

i heard you died…

I wish I had heard you died. I wish someone would have broken it to me gently. But I got the sudden thought of you, looked you up, and it said deceased. I think I knew it was coming. The world swallows people like you. You become the forgotten. But I won’t forget you. You […]

tracks of my tears…

I have this memory where I’m young and I’m in the bathtub and my mother is washing my hair. My sister is there and we’re all singing “Tracks of My Tears” by Smokey Robinson. It almost feels like it can’t be real. It has that magical quality of dreams. But maybe that’s what becomes of […]

It’s a terrible love…

So maybe this band is from your town. And maybe you got me into them. And maybe I couldn’t listen to them for 2 years after you. Now I’m late in the game. Missing beautiful songs because of you. Missed connections because of you. But its gone on this long because of me. “It takes […]

so i ran faster…

what are these false starts. every monday. it’s like fireworks. and i think i can fix this broken down thing. i could rebuild this engine. and then i realize i’m not a mechanic. that swell of pride were sparks in the sky. and i turned around before i could watch them fade.  we’re not going […]

the fiction of you.

I think I made you up. I must have right? Because there is no evidence left of you. I didn’t realize the efficiency of modern day gadgets. There was no time to watch and reflect as your letter (one, you only sent me one) and personal info went through the shredder. I guess burning is […]