When I was little I was positive I was going to die young. I don’t know what it was, I just knew. I would think about the future. The year 2000 seemed so epic. I used to think about how old I would be in the year 2000. I remember thinking to myself, “You’ll be […]

Lets all hail the modern age. It can show you a picture that will put you in tears. Brings people back in your life that you’d rather forget. It puts you in contact with people you hate. People you blame for taking someone important from your life. People you could easily send a hateful message […]

I’m holding this book in my hands. “House of the Spirits” by Isabel Allende. It’s a used copy that I bought at Green Apple Books in San Francisco on Clement. I love finding books there. I love old used books. I love finding notes in the margins. I love finding old receipts stuck inbetween the pages. […]

I want to say I don’t fantasize romantic notions. But I’m the queen of romantic notions. I play out situations that couldn’t even possibly exist. Nothing hurts more than the realization of things that could not possibly exist. I think thats what hurts the most when I think about her, or the lack of her. […]

“You don’t heal well.” This is what the nurse tells me as she squeezes my surgical incision. As I wince at the pain I know I’m going to take that comment to heart. That its going to mean far more to me than she meant it to be. I don’t heal well. I might just […]

I’ve been getting emotional lately and thinking about death. I’m constantly worrying about my dad, calling him every night and just needing to hear his voice. I need to make sure he’s made it home safe from wherever he was at. I get like this, it nothing new. I’ll be perfectly fine. I won’t have even […]

On perfect nights we would lay outside of the Lex on 19th and Lexington in the mission of San Francisco. We’d watch the lesbians come out of the bar, my favorite ones dressed in boy’s clothes with fedoras. I would secretly be attracted to them and I would lean in your ear and tell you. […]

OK so I get it. We all have things. Terrible, horrible things. And if companies had to think about everyone’s feelings when they do something they probably wouldn’t do anything at all. That said, this commercial is horrible. Every time it plays its like you’re stabbing me in the heart. What about the people who […]

Found this old writing I had posted on Goodreads. Its rare I look back and really love something I wrote. But I’m happy for this. One good thing that came from a time of heartbreak. oh maude, its all my fault. i gave you your name. and i created you out of film. i gave […]

We want to repeat the past. I thought I was alone in this. The way we never changed our answering machine with her outgoing message on it. The way I call my house over and over again when I’m sad just to hear her voice. Its like I’m following a rhythm. Nostalgia is a pattern […]