Tag Archives: writing

You Don’t Heal Well

“You don’t heal well.” This is what the nurse tells me as she squeezes my surgical incision. As I wince at the pain I know I’m going to take that comment to heart. That its going to mean far more to me than she meant it to be. I don’t heal well. I might just […]

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Residual Mourning

I’ve been getting emotional lately and thinking about death. I’m constantly worrying about my dad, calling him every night and just needing to hear his voice. I need to make sure he’s made it home safe from wherever he was at. I get like this, it nothing new. I’ll be perfectly fine. I won’t have even […]

I Thought You Were My John Wayne

On perfect nights we would lay outside of the Lex on 19th and Lexington in the mission of San Francisco. We’d watch the lesbians come out of the bar, my favorite ones dressed in boy’s clothes with fedoras. I would secretly be attracted to them and I would lean in your ear and tell you. […]

I’m in love with the deleted scenes.

Found this old writing I had posted on Goodreads. Its rare I look back and really love something I wrote. But I’m happy for this. One good thing that came from a time of heartbreak. oh maude, its all my fault. i gave you your name. and i created you out of film. i gave […]

Nostalgia

We want to repeat the past. I thought I was alone in this. The way we never changed our answering machine with her outgoing message on it. The way I call my house over and over again when I’m sad just to hear her voice. Its like I’m following a rhythm. Nostalgia is a pattern […]

This is how you get her back.

Of course on this day every year I think about loss. But it’s not like its only this day. I miss her every day. But today for some reason you feel it more. The first day you got the wound that is taking forever to heal. But what if on a day like today you […]

you can’t see it but I do…

You’re not living for the modern age. So we take it back and it’s like we’re writing on paper. It’s like you found me in the back of a magazine. Circled it with a heart and now its like a movie. Desperately desperately desperately seeking anything. Now I can read my life back like its […]

she used to just stand there and stare.

It happened as she was leaving a concert. A little known band she couldn’t convince the rest of her friends to spend $25 on. But she really wanted to go, so she went alone. As much as she didn’t mind it, it was hard to not feel strange standing alone in a crowded room. Everyone […]

haunting, familiar, yet I can’t seem to place it…

“We kept his phone on.” This is what she says to me about her dead husband. People do this daily to me, they tell me about their problems and their lives. I don’t know if I’m equipped to handle them. I wanted to be a psychiatrist once. I took so many classes. I could diagnose […]

i broke my own heart…

I think I broke my own heart. Sometimes something takes 3 years. I wish I knew how human minds work. I wish I knew how our hearts work too. There’s so much science but they’ll never get it right. There’s always a new case study. Someone new doing something so differently.  It was just a […]