not even close

I can’t let it go. Just fucking let it go.

But you were the closest I ever came.

I can’t even get a word in these days.

But it seemed so easy back then with you.

Staring at your red walls.

Wait, that was someone else.

Then who is it then?

It’s all of them.

Every boy who ever lit the candle.

Cause I can’t even strike a match these days.

I would go easy into just a spark.

I would follow someone into just a smolder.

The leftover smoke of what was once a fire.

I’d be your rebound burning embers.

Because right now I can’t be anything.

I can’t even be the girl who deleted everything.

The one that put it all in one envelope.

Who held it over the shredder and laughed.

Because it was so dramatic and so much like a movie.

Who gasped when I finally did it.

Because it felt so final.

But I still found you again so easily.

Where did those feelings go.

Who had the passion enough to be passionate.

Where’s the girl who got mad when you stole my jeweled sunglasses

Wait, that wasn’t you.

Then who was it then?

Why are we still talking about this?

How is this still an issue?

Because you were the closest I ever came,

and you weren’t even that close.

 

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