Category Uncategorized
how to build a tomb
I know how to build a tomb. First you keep all of her stuff. You keep it all in her room the same way for years. Then you start to get rid of it all. But you still hoard pieces of it in the corners of your room. Then you read all of her writings. […]
That first time.
The first time someone said it in my presence was at a friend’s birthday party. The first time. You always remember the first time. You always remember every time. Nigger. I had gone 30 years without ever hearing someone white say it in my real life. I was lucky right? To have gone so long? […]
not even close
I can’t let it go. Just fucking let it go. But you were the closest I ever came. I can’t even get a word in these days. But it seemed so easy back then with you. Staring at your red walls. Wait, that was someone else. Then who is it then? It’s all of them. […]
All My Stories Live In The Sky
“Would you do it all over again?” I ask. But I don’t ask. I’m always doing this, saying things I never say. It’s always some question, some statement, that would make a difference. But I keep it in my mind. I can’t push it to my lips. I hold it back. I say it over […]
What happened?
I miss your novel. What will become of that post apocalyptic world? Maybe you never finished. Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe in my head you’re a much better person than you really are. Successful, accomplished. You should be grateful, for the fantasy life I’ve been giving you. It all doesn’t matter that much. I […]
You’re not 41, you’re 18.
You were always the keeper of everything. I was such a destroyer. I break everything. I don’t mean that in such a depressing way. Though it really is when you think about it. I never knew what my problem was, I still don’t. I was always leaving things on the floor and accidentally stepping on […]
how strange it is to be anything at all…
When I was little I was positive I was going to die young. I don’t know what it was, I just knew. I would think about the future. The year 2000 seemed so epic. I used to think about how old I would be in the year 2000. I remember thinking to myself, “You’ll be […]
Residual Mourning
I’ve been getting emotional lately and thinking about death. I’m constantly worrying about my dad, calling him every night and just needing to hear his voice. I need to make sure he’s made it home safe from wherever he was at. I get like this, it nothing new. I’ll be perfectly fine. I won’t have even […]
I Thought You Were My John Wayne
On perfect nights we would lay outside of the Lex on 19th and Lexington in the mission of San Francisco. We’d watch the lesbians come out of the bar, my favorite ones dressed in boy’s clothes with fedoras. I would secretly be attracted to them and I would lean in your ear and tell you. […]
i want to be the girl with the most cake 
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